I STAND TO BE CORRECTED ON THE BOYCHILD CRISIS BY MOKAYA ONSASE
I STAND TO BE CORRECTED
The crisis in which the boychild finds himself in this generation can collectively be termed a global phenomenon. The constant overemphasis on the girl child at the expense of the boychild is largely blamed for a society where girls have started to gain more socio-economic millage as the bastions of male dominance disintegrate. In a society that was once a patriarchal dominated society, things have changed now, things are slowly calcifying towards a matriarchal dominated society where women have the say now.
Advocacy and gender affirmative campaigns have been focusing on the girl child. The government and international donors have invested much in restoring the voice of the girl child. The girl child is empowered in education, politics and economic opportunities and don't forget a recent species of slay queens that give men sleepless nights has emerged in this generation.
This is recommendable and something substantive in the society whose fruits can be seen for sure. But my point of focus as a scholar is actually not to discredit the empowerment of the girl child but strike gender balance.
I mean even education which was meant to promote gender equality and bring about national values is now promoting the education of girls to be so important than that of boys. Well whoever coined the phrase to educate a woman, you educate the whole society was not wrong but in a way gave us the middle finger with the same spirit. The boy child is perishing and gradually being overtaken by the girl child. I'm not jealous of this but why make boys look like they are adversaries to be banished into outer space?
For some boys the transition to adulthood is more difficult. Some boys became victims of crime and substance abuse at young age and suffer mental health problems such as depression,a situation no one points out to, but you will see narrow chested and belly laden men and women attend conferences to discuss on the consolidated popular version of gender based violence laws of Kenya where the key perpetrators are men. God is watching you.
Others perform poorly in school or even drop out and engage in child labour. To be honest the challenges boys face have not gone unnoticed by scholars, popular media and public in general. Many laws have been enacted in Kenya to protect people from gender based violence, mark my words I said protect people but the reality is that we view truth in via a binary lens, let's call a spade a spade, it is to protect women why lie. The four basic laws enacted include protection against domestic violence where policy makers only see one side of the coin. To them only women undergo harassment. The sexual offences act, which lists the sexual offences recognised under Kenyan law and the sentences which am yet to find out the statistics of how many men have been raped in Africa. Oh I heard one village elder say men are not raped, maybe the definition of rape changed.The other two are the marriage act and the matrimonial property act. It is surprising that men are seen as the victims maybe because most of the applicants are women. But your time is coming.
John Elision in his September 18 post on the standard claimed that we lose objectivity when we start this conversation by arguing that the empowerment of the Girl Child came at the expense and detriment of the Boy Child. Well The crisis we are facing falls squarely on the failure of the men in society not playing their roles as father figures and i fully agree with him. There has always been a misconstrued notion that the measure of a man depends on his financial capabilities. Ever wondered where the vocabulary "sponsor" originated from, now you know. Due to this social construct, for years we have witnessed men perfect the art of making money while unconsciously disregarding the basic element of spending time with their families and specifically mentoring the Boy Child. I am not ashed to mention it here that men have become slaves of the so called slay queens because of obvious reasons that I will share later. They spend sleepless nights making money only for a village elevated slay queen to spend on a Friday night. The younger men have picked up this trend and are participating in "Get-Rich-Quick-Schemes" to fulfil the misconstrued assumption that finances define them. Now you understand why men have became slaves of women, something that I totally observe and agree with. I remember a close friend of mine spending sleepless nights doing online jobs to get something for the weekend and yawning all night only for a slay queen from neighbouring institution to squander all the effort on sheesha and alcohol on one Friday night, he was left desperate and isolated having spent close to 15,000 Kenyan shillings on this lass. As usual the lass packed her belongings and left the guy playing golf all night.
Young men of our age are literally “on their own” in this world. I have observed them maneuver their way in life with little or no mentorship. You will always find them somewhere analysing the latest lightskins and where they spend their nights each Friday not to mention contemplating on how to make money to take them out on a Friday night only for a slay queen to take a whole bottle of double black and walk home leaving the boy child drunk and desperate. Some pretend to walk to the wash rooms only for them to vanish and leave the boy child dancing to the latest sad love song. Where did we go wrong as men?
Cyprian Nyakundi the so called president of boychild in his posts which were met with a bag of mixed reactions, clearly state that the way to go is to resist the so called "pussyprenuoires" why should slay queens be quick to point an accusing finger to commercial sex workers when all they do is the same job but at a different level. Unless it is not a sponsorship geared towards raising church funds and educating the boychild, the modern day business of sponsors can be termed a form of prostitution. Yes what I mean is sponsorship is a form of prostitution, because all ladies do is exchange their goodies for luxuries. For once let's call a spade a spade. A modern day slayqueen will tell you _"tumeenda tu out na huyu sponsor kujibamba na drinks, after hapo ntarudi home"_ Please go and fool Kenya Police dogs at kasarani, a sponsor is not your brother, something must happen between the two of you. though not always no matter how long it takes, he will ask for something you all know what. But a quick reminder to our ladies that wealth is not sexually transmitted. Most exchange luxuries for a pelvic exam before they part with one. So how do you convince the world that sponsorship of not a specialised form of prostitution? Well my intention was not to insult women but for once let us engage on a common agenda.
Well such developments in the modern world have guided the wisdom behind creating an affirmative action agenda that focuses on women empowerment. Not only to empower them on how to gold dig sponsors but to make them responsible women who can hustle and put something on the table at the end of the day. I strongly advocate for the empowerment of the Girl-Child if it is on matters of responsibility and positive behaviour change and with the same spirit the strengthening of the Boy-Child. Why must men become slaves of women, why?
Now to men, we must also accept that we have failed terribly and so it explains why we have become victims of this war. It is the high time men across all social classes make deliberate efforts to salvage the Boy-Child. Otherwise the constant overemphasis on the girl child at the expense of the boy child will be counterproductive and will just flare up the conflict between the two groups as we have already noted. We are on the brink of a crisis if stakeholders do not make an effort to mitigate this ticking time bomb. Stakeholders in this context include the family unit, religious and learning institutions, policy makers, mentors and generally the society as a whole. Not a society that portrays men as the cause of all problems in all fronts but a society that understands the needs and social circles of both genders.
Dr.Mokaya Onsase is a Kenyan trained medical doctor and medical journalist, a novelist, public speaker, short story writer, blogger and an opinion shaper on contemporary societal matters.
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| Mokaya onsase aka benmoks |
The crisis in which the boychild finds himself in this generation can collectively be termed a global phenomenon. The constant overemphasis on the girl child at the expense of the boychild is largely blamed for a society where girls have started to gain more socio-economic millage as the bastions of male dominance disintegrate. In a society that was once a patriarchal dominated society, things have changed now, things are slowly calcifying towards a matriarchal dominated society where women have the say now.
Advocacy and gender affirmative campaigns have been focusing on the girl child. The government and international donors have invested much in restoring the voice of the girl child. The girl child is empowered in education, politics and economic opportunities and don't forget a recent species of slay queens that give men sleepless nights has emerged in this generation.
This is recommendable and something substantive in the society whose fruits can be seen for sure. But my point of focus as a scholar is actually not to discredit the empowerment of the girl child but strike gender balance.
I mean even education which was meant to promote gender equality and bring about national values is now promoting the education of girls to be so important than that of boys. Well whoever coined the phrase to educate a woman, you educate the whole society was not wrong but in a way gave us the middle finger with the same spirit. The boy child is perishing and gradually being overtaken by the girl child. I'm not jealous of this but why make boys look like they are adversaries to be banished into outer space?
For some boys the transition to adulthood is more difficult. Some boys became victims of crime and substance abuse at young age and suffer mental health problems such as depression,a situation no one points out to, but you will see narrow chested and belly laden men and women attend conferences to discuss on the consolidated popular version of gender based violence laws of Kenya where the key perpetrators are men. God is watching you.
Others perform poorly in school or even drop out and engage in child labour. To be honest the challenges boys face have not gone unnoticed by scholars, popular media and public in general. Many laws have been enacted in Kenya to protect people from gender based violence, mark my words I said protect people but the reality is that we view truth in via a binary lens, let's call a spade a spade, it is to protect women why lie. The four basic laws enacted include protection against domestic violence where policy makers only see one side of the coin. To them only women undergo harassment. The sexual offences act, which lists the sexual offences recognised under Kenyan law and the sentences which am yet to find out the statistics of how many men have been raped in Africa. Oh I heard one village elder say men are not raped, maybe the definition of rape changed.The other two are the marriage act and the matrimonial property act. It is surprising that men are seen as the victims maybe because most of the applicants are women. But your time is coming.
John Elision in his September 18 post on the standard claimed that we lose objectivity when we start this conversation by arguing that the empowerment of the Girl Child came at the expense and detriment of the Boy Child. Well The crisis we are facing falls squarely on the failure of the men in society not playing their roles as father figures and i fully agree with him. There has always been a misconstrued notion that the measure of a man depends on his financial capabilities. Ever wondered where the vocabulary "sponsor" originated from, now you know. Due to this social construct, for years we have witnessed men perfect the art of making money while unconsciously disregarding the basic element of spending time with their families and specifically mentoring the Boy Child. I am not ashed to mention it here that men have become slaves of the so called slay queens because of obvious reasons that I will share later. They spend sleepless nights making money only for a village elevated slay queen to spend on a Friday night. The younger men have picked up this trend and are participating in "Get-Rich-Quick-Schemes" to fulfil the misconstrued assumption that finances define them. Now you understand why men have became slaves of women, something that I totally observe and agree with. I remember a close friend of mine spending sleepless nights doing online jobs to get something for the weekend and yawning all night only for a slay queen from neighbouring institution to squander all the effort on sheesha and alcohol on one Friday night, he was left desperate and isolated having spent close to 15,000 Kenyan shillings on this lass. As usual the lass packed her belongings and left the guy playing golf all night.
Young men of our age are literally “on their own” in this world. I have observed them maneuver their way in life with little or no mentorship. You will always find them somewhere analysing the latest lightskins and where they spend their nights each Friday not to mention contemplating on how to make money to take them out on a Friday night only for a slay queen to take a whole bottle of double black and walk home leaving the boy child drunk and desperate. Some pretend to walk to the wash rooms only for them to vanish and leave the boy child dancing to the latest sad love song. Where did we go wrong as men?
Cyprian Nyakundi the so called president of boychild in his posts which were met with a bag of mixed reactions, clearly state that the way to go is to resist the so called "pussyprenuoires" why should slay queens be quick to point an accusing finger to commercial sex workers when all they do is the same job but at a different level. Unless it is not a sponsorship geared towards raising church funds and educating the boychild, the modern day business of sponsors can be termed a form of prostitution. Yes what I mean is sponsorship is a form of prostitution, because all ladies do is exchange their goodies for luxuries. For once let's call a spade a spade. A modern day slayqueen will tell you _"tumeenda tu out na huyu sponsor kujibamba na drinks, after hapo ntarudi home"_ Please go and fool Kenya Police dogs at kasarani, a sponsor is not your brother, something must happen between the two of you. though not always no matter how long it takes, he will ask for something you all know what. But a quick reminder to our ladies that wealth is not sexually transmitted. Most exchange luxuries for a pelvic exam before they part with one. So how do you convince the world that sponsorship of not a specialised form of prostitution? Well my intention was not to insult women but for once let us engage on a common agenda.
Well such developments in the modern world have guided the wisdom behind creating an affirmative action agenda that focuses on women empowerment. Not only to empower them on how to gold dig sponsors but to make them responsible women who can hustle and put something on the table at the end of the day. I strongly advocate for the empowerment of the Girl-Child if it is on matters of responsibility and positive behaviour change and with the same spirit the strengthening of the Boy-Child. Why must men become slaves of women, why?
Now to men, we must also accept that we have failed terribly and so it explains why we have become victims of this war. It is the high time men across all social classes make deliberate efforts to salvage the Boy-Child. Otherwise the constant overemphasis on the girl child at the expense of the boy child will be counterproductive and will just flare up the conflict between the two groups as we have already noted. We are on the brink of a crisis if stakeholders do not make an effort to mitigate this ticking time bomb. Stakeholders in this context include the family unit, religious and learning institutions, policy makers, mentors and generally the society as a whole. Not a society that portrays men as the cause of all problems in all fronts but a society that understands the needs and social circles of both genders.
Dr.Mokaya Onsase is a Kenyan trained medical doctor and medical journalist, a novelist, public speaker, short story writer, blogger and an opinion shaper on contemporary societal matters.
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